Pain is a tough teacher. It's not one to ask permission before it begins it's lesson for you. My prayer is, and has always been, when I go through one of these episodes with my back, that I will use the time I spend immobile to really listen to God. I'm not so sure I'm getting any better at it. I whine and moan about the pain. I cry and worry that "this may be the time I end up in a wheelchair for good. I become anxious thinking about what my family will do if that happens. How will they function? What alterations will we have to make on our home to accommodate a wheelchair...blah, blah, blah. I must admit, it all begin to happen again for me. All of the "what if's" began to flood in and my mind was reeling from it all. I started feeling sorry for myself. I'm a pessimist by nature (did ya get that?) so it's easy for me to go to the negative place first. I was hoping the x-rays our chiropractor took would give us a clue to what is going on in there. They weren't conclusive at all.
I had to stop myself mid-thought to regroup and change my mind. That's not an easy practice either. I took myself to exactly the place the enemy wanted me to go. The place of discouragement. When I asked the Holy Spirit to redirect me, He took me to Psalm 18. One of my favorite places in scripture. I love that He always comes to our rescue.
Psa 18:2-19 You are my mighty rock, my fortress, my protector, the rock where I am safe, my shield, my powerful weapon, and my place of shelter. I praise you, LORD! I prayed, and you rescued me from my enemies. Death had wrapped its ropes around me, and I was almost swallowed by its flooding waters. Ropes from the world of the dead had coiled around me, and death had set a trap in my path. I was in terrible trouble when I called out to you, but from your temple you heard me and answered my prayer. The earth shook and shivered, and the mountains trembled down to their roots. You were angry and breathed out smoke. Scorching heat and fiery flames spewed from your mouth. You opened the heavens like curtains, and you came down with storm clouds under your feet. You rode on the backs of flying creatures and swooped down with the wind as wings. Darkness was your robe; thunderclouds filled the sky, hiding you from sight. Hailstones and fiery coals lit up the sky in front of you. LORD Most High, your voice thundered from the heavens, as hailstones and fiery coals poured down like rain. You scattered your enemies with arrows of lightning. You roared at the sea, and its deepest channels could be seen. You snorted, and the earth shook to its foundations. You reached down from heaven, and you lifted me from deep in the ocean. You rescued me from enemies, who were hateful and too powerful for me. On the day disaster struck, they came and attacked, but you defended me. When I was fenced in, you freed and rescued me because you love me.